I'm Shaving My Head

It’s the year 2020; arguably one of the most bizarre years of my life, definitely in my adulthood. I’m very recently single, I just moved to a new house, and I’m stuck inside for the foreseeable future aside from going to essential places like work and the grocery store. This year has been quite the shake up for everyone so why not shake things up a bit more for myself? I am going to shave my head. Aside from a good old fashioned shake up, there are a couple reasons I have always wanted to do it. After thinking more and more about it and watching probably 100 Brad Mondo reaction videos, I’m finding more inspiration to go through with it.

First, it’s on my bucket list. It’s something that I've always wanted to do but have never felt like there was a right time. When I decided that I would do this one day, people close to me started getting married and if I had shaved my head right at that time, there was a risk of professional pictures haunting me for the rest of my life. Now, we are in a pandemic. If there is any time to do it, now is probably it because if this decision turns out poorly, the general public will see me a lot less than they would normally and I can hide from not only the coronavirus, but also from embarrassment.

The other reason, which is possibly the most important one, is because it absolutely terrifies me. I don’t totally understand why that is though. I have never been afraid of a haircut. I wasn’t afraid to shave half my head, I was never afraid of any color, and I have never shied away from a bold hair choice. What’s life without whimsy? Though I haven’t pinpointed my exact fear, the best that I can come up with is that my hair has always been my self-deemed best quality and it has been a strong outlet for self expression. I can humbly admit that I am plenty creative but is it possible that my other forms of creativity suffer because of how much I care about my hair? If I eliminate a very obvious and accessible form of self expression, will my other creative outlets prosper? It’s worth a try.

I do really love my hair though. I love that it’s curly, I love that it’s a fiery shade of maroon and orange, I love that half of it is already shaved, and as much as I hate to admit it, I love that everyone else loves it too. That in itself is a good enough reason to bite the bullet. I’ve come to realize that my hair symbolizes my vanity, my need to please and impress everyone, and live up to what the world defines as beautiful. I also realized that my hair is responsible for a lot of my confidence. Now it’s time to find other ways to be confident and express myself.

Now it’s time to redefine what makes me beautiful. Now it’s time to appreciate other ways to love myself and allow my other outlets of self expression to flourish. Now it’s time to learn to love myself for who I am outside of a funky hairstyle and give people the chance to love that person too. Now it’s time to be my raw and true self and be the most free I could ever feel.